Do You Need a Mentor to Succeed in Life?

Does your mentor need to be a person?

Goal: Consider a different form of mentorship

In the last twenty years the word mentor has been used a lot when discussing success. It is rare to hear of a successful person who does not acknowledge the positive influence that a mentor has had on their career and success.

What if you do not have a mentor?

My life has been very interesting. I have spent time in several industries and except for one company I was never given a mentor or did anyone volunteer to mentor me. The teams that I was on wanted me to solve their problems NOT help me develop.

I know that sounds very negative.

One company, BP, had a formal mentoring program. Even though I was a mid career hire, I got to chose a mentor from a list. My choice was someone who had gone through several levels of management and had world experience. I can tell you that the hours where we discussed my future and roles available were very valuable.

What do you do if there is no one that can mentor you to improve your performance?

The reason most people seek out mentors is to help develop them. The development could be a perceived deficiency in technical or personal abilities. Or simply to have a sounding board. By seeking a mentor one has recognized the need. That awareness is worth gold. Most people are not that self-aware that they have that need.

But back to the lack of mentor availability…

Once you have identified the need, I suggest you need to go to Amazon and research a few books that could help you. Look for books that have many positive reviews and have been around a few years. Read the comments and see what it is being said and whether that resonates with your need. I suggest you find and purchase 4 books. (I often buy used books on Abebooks.com)

Now you have made a small investment in your mentoring. You will be mentored indirectly by the book author. This person might not be your ideal mentor BUT they knew enough to capture their thoughts in a book. That takes time, effort and logical process in order to complete.

Look at each book as a 3 month project. First you will read the book quickly. Do this within one week of purchase. Second re-read the book and underline or highlight key insights from the book. This should take 2 weeks to complete. Third, you will take the notes and transfer them into a word document. I actually prefer Excel. This should be done within 1 week. At this point you are at one month. You have read and re-red the book and captured key insights.

During the second month you will look for opportunities to apply the new knowledge. You have done something that most people are unwilling to do- read the book. Applying the knowledge might be uncomfortable at first BUT push through that and just keep applying. Give yourself a break by not expecting perfection. You are a work in progress. It will be easier for people around you to correct you than to volunteer to mentor you.

According to S.P Robbins, “Learning is any permanent change in behavior that occurs as a result of experience.” You are experiencing and it is not yet permanent. You must continue with that uncomfortable feeling. Eventually you will start seeing a difference. It is like walking in a fog and eventually you will see clearly.

Third month, you are going to use YouTube as a tool. Go find the author and watch any videos of presentations and lessons that they offer. Is the presentation consistent with the book? Is it adding on to your knowledge? This should be done within two weeks of the third month.

At this point you have two weeks left. Get your favorite tool(mine is Excel) and start adding your thoughts to the key insights that you have experienced and made permanent.

Next, pick up the second book and repeat. Within a year or two you will know more about that topic than 99.99% of the people on earth. You will be sought out to mentor others.

I know that this process is not a true substitute for having a person hold your hand. BUT this process could also eliminate any quirks that the mentor has. Or even better, most people that are knowledgeable are not very good at teaching others and do not have a logical way of explaining what they do.

You might also think that just by reading and experiencing you will not learn. That is why you need 4 books. You will see the process from 4 mentor’s point of view and over 1 year’s worth of time. Your biggest hurdle will be YOU stopping yourself and not do it. It is not easy BUT it is doable. The greatest benefit is that once you go through this process, you will be able to self teach yourself anything. YOU WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!

I got to go…my future self alarm went off

Robert Trajkovski is professional with experience in leading people and projects in Steel/ Power, Refining, Chemicals, Industrial Gasses, Software, Consulting and Academia. He has worked for both owners and engineering companies. In addition, he has instructed 73+ courses at several institutions and often offers his courses for free on LinkedIn.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/roberttrajkovski/

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