Have You Ever Stormed Out of a Meeting When You Did Not Agree?
..and why you shouldn’t
Goal: discuss influence vs positional power
In my last role I had an interesting situation develop that is worth discussing. It involved a failure of leadership.
I was a member of a team that closely worked with another team. One of the reasons that I was hired for was to help build a bridge between the two groups.
As part of that effort the two groups started to meet periodically and discuss the projects that were both developing and executing together. We were looking for ways to improve the process.
During one of those meetings we started to discuss a failed project and one of the participants stated their view. The leader of the other team pushed back as if what the participant was saying was not true. The participant pushed back and then it got ugly.
The leader that pushed back simply got upset, picked up his materials, and left the large conference room. We all could hear his office door being clooed loudly.
The participant apologized for the scene and asked if he should also leave. We said no.
Our meeting continued for the rest of the day. At the end of the day the leader came to my office and asked me what I thought about the situation. Even though he was my boss I told him that the way he handled it was poor.
Why?
We are all faultable. We all make mistakes and should learn from them. By storming he learned nothing except that he did not like the position that the participant took.
In my eyes he showed major immaturity. Pouting about the opinions of others is childish. Being able to state your position and influence others through words is powerful. Not being able to do so, shows a weakness and lack of facts. Whether that is true or not.
By leaving he lost the opportunity to influence. To influence another team with which his team works directly. He used his position believing that gave him power that beats influence.
Wrong!!!
It is the other way around. By being able to calmly influence people though facts, emotions, and appeals you gain power. Positional power is only temporary if one can not influence.
What is interesting to me about this story is that he understood that influence was his weakness. He liked at times to destroy bridges. Unfortunately, that is a finite game. One move and your opponent sees you for what you are.
In that situation he should have been thinking of how to play the infinite game. The infinite game is how and when to give and take over the long run so that both teams win. All he did was build distrust that will stay in the minds of people for a long time.
My advice for people in positional power is to imagine their boss on one side and his parents on the other and ask themselves, ”Should I do what I am about to do?” Just because you can does not mean you should.
My three cents….(this is what I earned from Medium.com for Feb. 2021)
I got to go…my future self alarm went off
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